Why is love stories so appealing to people?
Personally, I don't care much for the romantic-comedy-teenage kind of love.
Stories about flirting, dating, fling-ing, one-night-stand-ing and other stupid things ending with -ing connected to superficial love stories. No.
What I do love (and deeply deeply hate) is stories with real and raw, uncovered everyday love. Strong love. Love that conquer struggles and throw away obstacles like they were yesterday's takeaway.
My mum and dad's love.
Let me make up an example to prove my point.
He is my all. Before him, I was only a half. Now. Me and him are two halves, we are a whole. I am still just a woman and he is still just a man. We still lay in bed. Its late and its early. He kisses me gently, like only he knows. I look at him again. I don't want to sleep, there's too much to see. He likes oranges. I like plums. I feel his breath. Our bed is a ship, and we are sailing together. He is my all and I am his
Know what I mean jellybean?
Why do I hate stories like that? When they are utterly and completely wonderful, filled with tenderness, and a childlike fascination, like they're seeing the world for the first time. And with a love, stronger than the smell of Gorgonzola in the morning.
Because, frankly they make me feel bad, and good at the same time. They make me tear up and get this feeling like someone bitch-slapped my heart and then told it to shut up. It gets cold, confused and bitter. It shuts down.
I think these feelings occur because I do not allow myself to hope that something like that will ever happen to me. That I have sort of accepted the fact that I might have fun, for sure, and maybe get close enough to even care about someone. But never for a second truly believe that a love that pure, that vital, intoxicating and fantastic will come my way. No way.
Agape love, unconditional love, love in spite of, not because of.
THIS. Ugh, I know how you feel, but the thing is Maren that you are beautiful, you are smart, you are the perfect vertion of you, and someone will come around one day, wether it be today or in ten years I cannot tell you. BUT, someone will come, and when he does, he will be fantastic, he will be unlike anyone you've ever met, and you'll look back at this and think that there was hope, you were just looking for it so desperatly that you did not see it.
ReplyDeleteI promise you he is out there somewhere, and you are at this moment both unaware of eachother, but you will become aware one day. You will. I know that, because I know you. You love and care deeply for the people around you and you feel everything so deeply, but you are just afraid, you are afraid as I am afraid, to let people in, but when you do you are wonderful, and YOU WILL FIND HIM, AND HIM YOU.